Being human is not a shortcoming
You can end up in a straight-jacket of the mind if you’re trying to be perfect all the time.
Here’s a note from my jottings a while back:
“I’ve been working on a project for along time and it’s going slow, and it’s hard to learn, and I keep having setbacks. I’ve been working hard trying not to get caught up in expectations. I’m trying to have acceptance, and trying to take care of myself so I don’t get worn out. Then Friday, when I was finally feeling like I was making headway and getting some enthusiasm that, hey, this might be getting somewhere, I had one of my health problems knock me flat for Saturday. I got up Sunday all rearing to go and keep the momentum, and wham, another health problem knocked out my Sunday. So I woke up today, hoping to be all ready to make headway on the project and…nothing. No energy, no interest, just nothing.
I’ve had it. I’m angry. Curses! It took so long to get momentum with this project, and then I got sucker punched. I’m not as mad that I got sick (that’s just an unavoidable thing I have to put up with) as I am that I’ve lost my groove.”
So it’s reasonable that I was disappointed. That’s pretty frustrating. And if you knew how long I’d been working on the project and spending on it, and how often my health acts up, you’d say yeah, that’s frustrating.
But I didn’t want the frustration. I didn’t want it getting in my way, too! My logic said, “Get over being disappointed, get your mojo back, and get momentum. Pronto. I was now piling a bully attitude onto my list of pains. I was putting myself in a straight-jacket of the mind.
I remember years ago I called my business mentor, telling her I was super frustrated that I’d spent 4 hours on the phone with companies, and being put on hold and transferred and given the run around, and accomplished nothing.
It was a big epiphany that day for me: She said, “You have to factor these things in. This stuff is going to happen. It’s a part of business, it’s a part of life. When it happens you allow for it. You say, oh yeah, this is that part where I lose aw hole day getting nothing done. It’s completely normal and to be expected.”
That lesson helped for the rest of my life. It applies to all areas of my life. And I used it in the situation above. BUT. Sometimes, it’s too much. Too many down days, too many times back to the drawing board…it’s too much. I lose my serenity.
That day of frustration with my project went astray because I was not allowing myself to just have the frustration. I wanted to have a betterr attitude, because that would make me a good little girl with a gold star. I knew that I should just factor in that mess and have some acceptance. But I couldn’t.
Acceptance is a good state, but not if it’s forced. (Of course it really isn’t acceptance then.)
What I needed was to surrender, take a step back, let myself be disappointed and worn out. Because I was.
Once I expressed my discouragement to an understanding friend, I could start to relax. I used my Without a Net tools, read all sorts of encouraging literature, and prayed and meditated. I could get back on my feet with baby-step intentions.
Getting a C-minus is a good idea sometimes. Being human is not a shortcoming, it’s reality, and the more I include it in my definition of a flourishing, awake being, the less frustrating days I’ll have.
